Money Dillemas in the Movies

Times are tough these days. It's getting to the point where most people can't even remember what it meant to have disposable income. Where money flowed like the sustenance of a land of milk and honey. Yup, care-freely we threw our money away on lavish items and trips and pleasures. So much so that it became the norm. Anyone who didn't do so was branded with the scarlet "$" upon their chest. Saving was considered a "blah" statement because the secret word for the day was "spend". AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!
Thinking as I do about movies I've seen while I spend my time at my job, two movies in particular seemed to be echoing back and forth in my skull. Like a record player stuck on a track. Michael Bay's opus, TRANSFORMERS and Chris Columbus' tour-De-force HOME ALONE 2. Admittedly these two films have nothing in common on the surface, but if we dig a bit deeper we will see the greed that momentary financial security brings.
First, we talk about TRANSFORMERS. With it's looming sequel about to destroy our collective consciousness with the blunt force of its awesomeness it's vital that we look back on how Sam Witwicky first acquired the Autobot, Bumblebee. Remember how his father gave him only a certain amount of cash to purchase a junker from Bernie Mac? And how Sam was complaining that it still wasn't enough money to afford a car that could whoo the likes of Megan Fox? The running gag was that his father was one cheap sunnuva bitch. Then we get a look at the palace that Sam's dad has provided for him, his mother, and their dog. It was Buckingham of suburbia. And not only that, decently decorated and furnished. Well maintained lawn that he groomed and cared for himself. Even the fucking dog had a two story dog house it could call home. Remember how expansive Sam's bedroom was? It was literally two rooms opened up. One side of the room was for sleeping and jerking off thinking of Megan Fox, like all of our are, and the other half was for slap-stick, giant robot inducing, comedy. It was the biggest room any kid I've ever seen ever have. What the fuck does the master bedroom look like?! I bet the master bedroom comes with serfs. Play with the time-line for a minute. Remember when Sam's got the as of yet undiscovered transformer in the back, and he gets in the car and turns on the motor. Remember the plume of smoke that comes out of the tailpipe. Can anyone tell me the line Mrs. Witwicky says to her husband as their son drives off in his junker?
"Good Lord, you're so cheap."
Why Mr. Witwicky didn't leap up from caring for his tender lawn and choke the life out of her, I'll never understand. My reply had I been Mr. Witwicky would have been,
"Cheap? Cheap? Cheap put this fucking castle over your head you ungreatful bitch. Cheap puts that glass of red wine in your hands every night while we watch cable television on a 50" plasma you whore. Cheap gives that fucking chiuahuah a fucking two story dog house. God forbid I teach my son a life lesson about the importance of starting small and working your way big. That you don't always get the $100,000 foreign car. That in this hectic world real men work for what they get and the fact that he met the bare minimum required to succeed doesn't warrant him a porche. I didn't hear you complaining about my being cheap when I had you bent over the side of our twelve jet jacuzzi tub last weekend. Speaking of which, put down that tall cold glass of refreshing iced tea, get off my prize winning, expertly maintained lawn, and get upstairs to our California king sized bed with 500 thread count sheets. I'm gonna tag ya' without a condom like the time we had that drunk 3 a.m. sex when we broke into the abandoned carnival. BECAUSE I'M CHEAP!"
People like her are the exact reason our country is in the shape it is today.
Then we move on to HOME ALONE 2. Not an overall well put together film. In fact it's quite awful. It borders on unwatchable. But one line in particular has been sticking in my head recently and I think I've figured out why such an inane, insipid response would be put into a movie that tried it's darnedest to be as clever as the first one.
Recall during the movie that little Kevin McAllister is all alone in New York City while his family is in Florida. His family that is easily 10-15 people strong. 13-14 of them are children. During the course of the movie Kevin saves the kindly old toy store owner's giant box of money he's going to donate to the orphanage on Christmas morning from Joe Pesci and Daniel Stern. And that the kindly old man is so grateful for this act of courage that he gives Kevin's family enough toys and presents that they could in fact open their own toy store and live comfortably on the profits for the rest of their lives. We finally draw upon the end of the movie where Kevin looks out his penthouse window to the homeless bird lady he's befriended and gives her the impish smile that we as a nation united also fell in love with. When from the backgroud we hear his father shout at the top of his lungs,
"KEVIN! YOU SPENT $900.00 DOLLARS ON ROOM SERVICE!!!!!"
Kevin in fear of his father's rage and wrath flees for his life.
Let's do some math. Peter McAllister is going to take his brood of failure with him to Florida for a two week Christmas vacation.
14 days.
During that time they will consume on average at least four meals a day.
14 days x 4 meals = 56
Each meal will cost on average between $13.00 and $16.00. With tax, we'll round up to $20.00 a meal.
56 x 20.00 = $1120.00
Throw in midday snacking at all the predetermined attractions and we can add an additional $25.00 a day.
25 x 14 = 350
350 + 1120 = $1470.00
This is PER child.
$1470.00 x 1 gives us a grand total of . . . . .$1470.00 for a two week vacation.
Peter McCallister should have fell on his knees and thanked Kevin for saving him $570.00. This no nothing, brainless twat pitches a fit at his son for spending money to feed himself and live comfortably while in a dire situation when the rest of his mouth breathing family stand there with their hands out asking for almost $1500.00 just to feed them. Fucking unbelievable. This is clearly written into the script so that the audience can sit there and enjoy an "UH-OH!" moment, while I sit there and brood over the inaccuracies over the math.
This is what I think about when I should be working.